Unpractical Fantasy Weapons: Bows, Shields, and Polearms
Fantasy literature and games are rich with imaginative and colorful weapons designed to wow audiences, often at the expense of functionality and practicality. This article explores some of the most impractical fantasy weapons, focusing on polearms, bows, and shields, and explains why these designs are so eccentric.
Polearms: Inefficiency Meets Ingenuity
When it comes to highly impractical fantasy weaponry, polearms might be the real champions. These weapons, with their long handles and intricate design, often seek to add a touch of grandeur and fantasy rather than practicality.
Dragons Reach Halberd
The Dragons Reach Halberd stands as a testament to excess. Featuring a massive blade shaped like a dragon's head, this weapon is a feast for the eyes but a nightmare to wield. The weight and awkward shape make it nearly impossible to wield effectively, especially in close combat.
Multi-Pronged Trident
Another example is the Five-pronged Trident, which takes aesthetics to an extreme. Despite the multiple prongs, the weapon becomes harder to wield with each additional prong, complicating thrusting. Its complexity also makes it challenging to retrieve, and its length makes it unwieldy in tight spaces.
Giant Spiked Flail Staff
Intimidate and bulk—the Giant Spiked Flail Staff is the epitome of impracticality. This weapon combines a long staff with a massive spiked ball at the end connected by a chain. The weight of the ball makes it almost impossible to control, with swinging it horizontally or diagonally being nearly impossible without risking injury.
Bows: Aiming for Precision or Just Aiming Enormous?
Bows, too, are not immune to the seductive lure of impracticality. These weapons can be as visually stunning as they are functionally problematic.
The Celestial Bow
The Celestial Bow, with its feathers made from mythical creatures and a fragile string, is a beautiful but fragile weapon. It can only be fired once before requiring extensive repairs, making it impractical for the battlefield. Its fragility is the ultimate price of its beauty.
Giant Longbow
The Giant Longbow is another misfit, designed to shoot arrows the size of spears. These weapons can shoot over great distances but are too large to be wielded by most characters, requiring a team to operate effectively. A creative solution to a practical problem, it fails to offer the ease of use that a functional weapon should.
Recurve Bow with Multiple Limbs
For those interested in complexity rather than control, the Recurve Bow with Multiple Limbs offers a visually striking but impractical experience. The layered limbs that curve in different directions make it nearly impossible to string and fire accurately, leading to unpredictable and poorly aimed shots.
Shields: Defense in the Name of Display?
Finally, let us turn our attention to shields, which, in the world of fantasy, are also prone to impracticality.
The Spiked Umbrella Shield
As a large umbrella with spikes protruding in every direction, the Spiked Umbrella Shield is impressive but problematic. While the spikes make it look intimidating, they also create blind spots, leaving the user exposed to vulnerabilities. Essentially, it turns a defense mechanism into a potential Achilles' heel.
Mirror Shield
The Mirror Shield, made entirely of reflective glass, is a spectacle but a poor choice for a combatant. Not only does it shatter easily, but it offers no real protection, turning the user into an Achilles in armor. Its main function is to dazzle rather than defend.
Floating Shield
The Floating Shield, powered by magical forces, is a floating triumph of magic. However, it requires constant concentration and energy from the user to maintain its position. While impressive, this comes at a cost, leaving the user vulnerable if they are distracted for even a moment.
These examples illustrate how elements of fantasy can lead to impractical weapon designs. While these weapons may be visually stunning, they often prioritize aesthetics or thematic resonance over functionality in combat. Whether it's the impracticality of a spiky halberd or the fragility of a celestial bow, the allure of fantasy often leads to weapons designed for show, not for the battlefield.