The Complexity of Desire and Fulgment: Exploring Oscar Wilde’s Tragedies
Oscar Wilde's famous quote, 'There are only two tragedies in life: one is not getting what one wants and the other is getting it.' resonates deeply with the human experience. This nuanced perspective highlights the intricate relationship between desire and fulfillment, and the often unpredictable outcomes that accompany these emotions. Whether it is falling short of our aspirations or achieving them, the complexities within these two 'tragedies' vary significantly and can serve as catalysts for personal growth and self-reflection.
Not Getting What One Wants
The first of Wilde's tragedies, 'not getting what one wants,' is often associated with feelings of disappointment, unfulfilled potential, and longing. These emotions can be profoundly challenging, fostering a sense of powerlessness and dissatisfaction. However, life experiences such as not achieving a goal can also be transformative. They offer opportunities for growth, resilience, and the chance to reassess one's desires and aspirations. Ultimately, this period of disappointment can foster a sense of hope, encouraging individuals to pursue new avenues, goals, or paths in life.
Getting What One Wants
On the contrary, the second tragedy, 'getting what one wants,' often promises fulfillment and happiness. Yet, the fulfillment of a long-held desire does not necessarily guarantee happiness. In fact, it can lead to unexpected consequences, such as a sense of emptiness, regret, or the realization that what was sought after was not as valuable as initially anticipated. This scenario can create immense pressure to maintain or replicate that success, leading to constant striving and the pursuit of external validation rather than genuine personal satisfaction.
Personal Preference and Overcoming Tragedies
If I were to choose, I might lean towards the first tragedy, 'not getting what one wants.' This path offers more learning opportunities, adaptability, and the possibility of discovering new passions or desires. The journey of striving can often be as enriching as the destination itself, providing valuable lessons and experiences that contribute to personal growth and self-understanding. While falling short of a goal can be disheartening, it often paves the way for new and fulfilling paths.
Life’s Greatest Tragedies: Internal and External
Wilde’s quote also emphasizes that the greatest tragedies in life are not external occurrences but internal mental states that arise when we are powerless to prevent them. Personal preference is a significant factor when it comes to these internal conflicts, as our mindset and internal dialogue play a crucial role in how we perceive and respond to life’s challenges.
A Personal Odyssey of Self-Discovery
I dreamt of becoming a world literature professor, a chemical engineer, and a lawyer defending the powerless. I ultimately became a chemical engineer and then a lawyer, teaching at two colleges as an adjunct instructor. My experience showed me clearly that none of these jobs would have brought me happiness without the serendipitous discovery of the Aesthetic Realism philosophy. I began studying this philosophy over 40 years ago, and I am happier than ever in my current roles. This journey illustrates the importance of self-awareness and the pursuit of meaningful connections in our lives.
According to the Aesthetic Realism philosophy, which centers on the belief that pleasure is derived from the honest and aesthetic relation between the self and the world, my journey towards self-awareness and fulfillment has been a transformative one. This philosophy, with its emphasis on the interplay between the self and the world, provides a framework for understanding the complexities of desire and fulfillment. It offers a lens through which external goals and personal growth can align, fostering a more fulfilling and authentic life.
Wilde’s quote encapsulates the duality of the human experience, where both falling short of our aspirations and achieving them can be sources of profound learning and growth. Ultimately, the key to overcoming these tragedies lies in our ability to navigate these challenges with resilience, self-awareness, and a commitment to personal growth.