The Art of Keeping Promises and Making Amends

Every person, regardless of their profession, has experienced the weight of underdelivering on a promise. Throughout my journey, I have realized that breaking a promise can have serious repercussions. As I recount my experiences, I will share how I have learned to take promises more seriously, and what steps you can take to make amends when you fail to deliver.

My Experience with Promises

When I was younger, I didn't give much thought to promises. My approach was cavalier, and I was indifferent when I couldn't fulfill them. The only compensation I would provide was an insincere apology. However, after getting involved with Japanese colleagues, my perspective changed significantly. The Japanese have a strong, cultural emphasis on the sanctity of promises, believing that once made, they must be kept.

Embracing the Japanese View on Promises

This cultural influence taught me to be more responsible with the promises I make. Now, I only commit to things if I can be certain of delivering on them. If I'm unsure, I hedge my bets by saying, 'I’ll see what I can do.' This approach not only improves my track record but also makes life easier for me, allowing me to focus on commitments I can confidently keep.

Caution: If you underdeliver, there is no straightforward way to make amends. The best approach is to go above and beyond the original terms of the promise. Work harder and longer until you can fulfill the promise in full. Remember, at times, you may have to forgive yourself for breaking a promise, but it's crucial to take responsibility and make amends.

Examples of Underdelivery and Making Amends

I have often found myself falling short of my promises, particularly in cases involving financial support. On two occasions, I failed to complete contracts, and to this day, I have been unable to make up for them. Instead of offering apologies, I have tried to find other ways to provide support to those in need, which is a form of sublimation rather than true forgiveness. Making amends is not only about fulfilling the promise but also about learning from the experience and improving in the future.

Practical Steps to Overcome Underdelivery

From a professional perspective, especially as a software developer, I understand the daily pressures to deliver on tight deadlines. Here are some practical steps to help you make amends when you underdeliver:

Assess the Impact: Determine the extent to which your underdelivery has affected the person or project. This will help you understand the scope of the amends you need to make. Take Responsibility: Admit your mistake and take full responsibility for the situation. This is the first step in making amends. Offer a Clear Plan of Action: Provide a detailed plan of how you will rectify the situation and what steps you will take to ensure it doesn't happen again. Active Reconciliation: Work hard to fulfill the original promise or go beyond the original terms. This may involve working extra hours, providing additional resources, or taking on additional tasks. Follow-Up: Regularly check in with the person or affected parties to ensure that the situation is improving and that you have met your commitment.

Ultimately, the key to making amends is to show genuine remorse and a willingness to change. By doing so, you can rebuild trust and improve your relationships. Promises may be formal contracts or informal expectations, but they are always important. It's crucial to understand the impact of your actions and take the necessary steps to make amends when you fall short.

Final Thoughts

Learning to keep promises is a valuable lesson that extends beyond personal and professional relationships. It's about building trust, honoring commitments, and growing as an individual. As I continue to navigate the challenges of work and life, I am constantly reminded of the importance of keeping my word and making amends when I fail. By doing so, I hope to foster a culture of responsibility and respect in all my interactions.