Introduction to Faking Illness in High School

Knowing how to convincingly pretend to be sick can sometimes be a useful tool, especially in situations where feeling unwell might save you from a less desirable situation. However, it is essential to note that these tactics can lead to serious consequences, including expulsion, and should not be utilized. This article aims to help those who are genuinely unwell while providing insights into how to avoid such pitfalls.

Method 1: Claiming an Embarrassing Condition

Faking a minor but embarrassing illness can provide a plausible excuse to leave school without being questioned too much. Conditions like diarrhea or bad gas are common and can easily be fabricated with the right approach.

Select an Embarrassing Condition: Choose a condition that everyone might feel hesitant about admitting to. Options like diarrhea or bad gas are perfect as they are common yet embarrassing.

Prepare to Talk to Your Teacher: Go to the bathroom several times while in class and tell your teacher that you need to leave if they ask. Frame your condition in a way that doesn't directly mention it, such as “I’ve been feeling a bit queasy.”

Approach Your Teacher Privately: Find a quiet moment to talk to your teacher about leaving for a while. Emphasize how embarrassed you are about your condition.

Stick to Your Story: Admit to being unwell and reiterate your need to lie down. Place a false scent that smells like bad gas near your person to add to the authenticity of your story.

Method 2: Faking a Fever

Faking a fever requires attention to detail and preparation. A believable fever can get you out of class without arousing suspicion.

Master Your Symptoms: Choose one primary symptom, like a headache, and stick to it. Avoid claiming multiple symptoms to avoid suspicion.

Access a School Thermometer: Head to the nurse’s office with a feigned feeling of warmth and ask for a thermometer. Follow instructions and keep the temperature within the normal range (99.5°F to 100°F).

Raise Your Body Temperature: Use light exercise, hot water, or a heat source to slightly increase your body temperature and give a believable fever reading.

Repeat Your Symptoms: Reiterate your symptoms consistently to reinforce your story. This can make your case more compelling.

Stay Calm: When the opportunity arises, such as when the nurse suggests you leave, take it. Cooperation can demonstrate your sincerity.

Method 3: Claiming Contagion

Some illnesses, like pink eye, can be faked effectively to claim being sent home. This method relies on attention to detail and the ability to manipulate perceptions.

Understand School Policy: Know that schools tend to send infectious students home to prevent the spread of illness.

Prepare Your Pink Eye Product: Gather red lipstick or hair gel from your locker and apply it during a bathroom break. Apply a small amount to one eye to avoid detection.

Have a Patsy: Claim that a family member or cousin, possibly from a recent visit, has given you the condition. This adds credibility to your story.

Method 4: Inducing Vomiting with Ipecac

Inducing vomiting through ipecac is a strong but convincing tactic. This method requires careful handling to avoid serious health risks.

Purchase Ipecac Syrup: Obtain ipecac syrup from a pharmacy. This vomit-inducing agent can be used effectively if administered correctly.

Follow Label Directions: Adhere to the manufacturer’s instructions to ensure safety. Overuse can lead to heart and muscle damage.

Take with Water: Drink a full glass of water before taking ipecac syrup to aid in vomiting. Keep a stash in your locker for occasions when you need to leave class.

Avoid Certain Beverages: Avoid milk and carbonated drinks as they can negate the effects of ipecac. Instead, use water to enhance its action.

Take a Second Dose: If vomiting does not occur within 20-30 minutes, take a second dose with more water if needed. Do not exceed the recommended dosage.

Plan Your Vomit Location: Vomit in a public place, preferably in class, while in view of your teacher. A well-timed and visible spew can guarantee your departure.