Healing from the Past: How to Move On from an Ex

It's natural to feel like you have memories and remember the good times rather than the bad ones. However, when these memories bring you to tears over 10 years after a breakup, it might be time to take a closer look at your emotions.

Why You Can't Let Go (And What to Do About It)

Believe it or not, it's common for people to have a tough time moving on from a significant other, especially if the relationship was emotionally significant. However, when you find yourself still crying over your ex after 10 years, it's a sign that something deeper might be at play.

Unresolved Inner Childhood Wounds and Unresolved Trauma

Perhaps they have hit on some unresolved inner childhood wounds or unresolved trauma. Our subconscious is always on the lookout for a chance to recover and will seek out opportunities with those who have similar issues as our primary caregivers. This can be a great way to grow and resolve inner issues.

You can try inner child work or shadow work. Both are great at helping you move on from the past. Especially shadow work. Some people can do it on their own, but others may need help from a professional. It is a great way to self-realize and move forward.

Seeking Help: The Importance of Therapy

Often, people seeking advice on Quora or from friends and family will not be enough to help you fully overcome these emotions. It may be time to consider seeking help from a professional therapist who can guide you through the process of healing.

Practical Steps to Move On

When you can’t stop thinking about your ex, it may be time to take a more active approach. Here are a few steps you can take to help you move on:

Inner Child Work

Inner child work can be a powerful tool for healing. It involves acknowledging and addressing your inner child’s needs and feelings. Journaling can also be a helpful tool in this process.

Shadow Work

Shadow work involves confronting the dark and difficult aspects of yourself. This can be a painful but necessary step in personal growth and healing. It often involves a combination of journaling, self-reflection, and possibly working with a therapist.

The Power of the Present

One of the most important things to remember when trying to move on is that the past is just memories and those memories change. It is easy to get lost in the past, but now is your real life. The now is where you can begin to let go.

Ancient Practices for Modern Healing

In a moment, you can change your whole life; the now is really all we will ever have. Our past is just memories and those memories change. It is easy to get caught up in the past but now is your real life. Now is the time you can begin to let go.

Hooponopono: A Hawaiian Practice for Forgiveness

Hooponopono is an ancient Hawaiian practice where people would seek to make peace and move past bad feelings. It boils down to saying four phrases:

I’m sorry Please forgive Thank you I love you

To use hooponopono when thinking about your ex, first, you would say:

“I am sorry for and name what they did that hurt you,” but say it as you did it to them. “Please forgive me for what they did to you,” but say it as you did it to them. “Thank you for this opportunity to let this go,” I love you.”

Eventually, you can just say:

“Thank you for this opportunity to let you go, I love you.”

The point is to forgive them for your sake and to accept 100% responsibility for every aspect of your life. Not that things are always your fault, but it is the way you can react when things happen to you.

It is an effective way to reprogram those thought loops that we can get caught up with when we think of an ex. Good luck!