Why Do I Verily Despair Over My Career Choices?

It’s an emotionally draining and baffling dilemma: you find yourself crying at the thought of any job, no matter how many times you’ve changed jobs. Even the one you pursued with the dreams of a college degree doesn’t bring joy. You feel chronically exhausted, yearning only to retreat to your bed all day. What’s haunting you? Why do you experience such agony?

Seeking Fulfillment in the Workplace

“Most jobs are too small for the people who fill them,” my beloved former neighbor, the brilliant writer and interviewer, Studs Terkel, once sagely observed. This observation poignantly resonates, as it appears that your professional endeavors are indeed too modest to encapsulate your aspirations and dreams.

The situation is reciprocal: your job might not offer enough to satisfy your broader life’s meaning. The truth is, you may never find a job that fully encapsulates the four facets of ikigai—your reason for living. Instead, you may have to settle for a profession that only meets some of these criteria, while you nurture your personal fulfillment through other avenues, like family, friends, romantic connections, art, activism, religion, and community.

Considering a Freelance Path

One possible solution might be to work for yourself. Imagine a business you could establish, where you control the hours and the tasks, and it’s something you genuinely enjoy. Such an arrangement would likely align better with your aspirations, making your work less arduous and more rewarding.

Adulthood can be a land of grown-up responsibilities, but let’s not forget that the company you work for is more concerned about its bottom line than your well-being. You’re just a number, a mere slave to your boss’s whims. The shocking truth is that companies even take out life insurance on you, hoping for your demise to enhance their profit margins. Such a lack of empathy is a stark reality of modern employment.

Navigating Through Depression Symptoms

Your feelings of isolation and withdrawal are prevalent symptoms of depression. Many feel like this because deep down, it’s incredibly lonely. But understand, this isn’t entirely uncommon. Moreover, it’s vital to recognize that you are not lazy, nor are you crazy. You are simply struggling, and you’re not alone. There are friends, family, and colleagues in your life, past and present, who hold a piece of your heart.

To those who feel isolated and overpowered by negative thoughts, know that there is hope. You are not alone, and there are steps you can take to address your mental health. Consider talking to a therapist, your GP, or a trusted family member or friend. Don't hesitate to seek help and be open about your feelings. Investing in some form of self-care, whether it's traditional or alternative, is also crucial. Engaging in a hobby can be incredibly beneficial, providing a much-needed respite and nurturing your interests.

“Mental illness is no lesser than physical illness,” emphasized the article, underscoring the importance of receiving proper treatment. Embrace self-compassion and treat yourself with the care and respect you would give to a loved one. Remember, you are capable of fighting through these challenges and conquering your mountain. And know that there are people, including myself, who want to support you in becoming the best version of yourself. You've got this, and you're worth it. I am rooting for you.

Seeking Help

If you're feeling deeply alone, scared, or overwhelmed, these resources might be helpful:

Samaritans - 116 123 (UK only) SANEline - 44-03003047000 (UK only) Crisis Text Line - Text HOME to 741741 (USA only) National Suicide Prevention Lifeline - n800 273-8255 (USA only)

Your mental health is important, and you deserve support and understanding. Take the step to reach out and break the cycle of isolation and despair. Everyone deserves a chance to find their path to happiness and fulfillment.